You know what grinds my gears….  The public fear of The Stache!  As some know, February was Facial Hair February.  This is where men can be men and let the hair flow.  Well after rocking the full beard for the month and celebrating the Slim/Chase B days, I said good bye to the beard and HELLO to The Stache (as JP did also).  Well I rocked The Stache.  Good color, density, sop ability..  All in all, a great stache.  Would have made Mr. Selleck proud.  But the public didn’t share the same opinion as Mr. Selleck.  They (the public) had no idea what to do.  Some pointed, some laughed, children cried, and others made assumptions of my employment.  These are just reactions of ignorance, because people know that The Stache represents things they couldn’t even fathom.  As suggested by JP (Godfather), we should make March, Mustache March in 2010.  This will be a great way to educate the public on the gloryesness of the stache.  And maybe bring about world peace.  I don’t know..  but these are just baby steps.

Don’t fear The Stache…  respect it, celebrate it, admire it, and LOVE IT!!!!!!!  It represents a better world and a better you!

Additionally, I would like to give a tip of the hat to the one Kato for his work on Munch Madness (Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy’s will win) and Slim for continued work on keeping Pirate Nation rocking!!!

Lets get right to the point (and I will be as positive as I can be)…  You know what grinds my fucking dwarf ass gears…….  The NBA     I know the NBA pissing me off is not a new thing but come on people..  I am a true sport fan!  You put a fucking weight on a sheet of ice and you have some Canadian mother fucker sweep a path for this object and I am game!  You know why I am game for this sport which they call curling north of the border??  Because it’s a fucking team sport..  You have one guy (who I like to call crazy eyes) who eyes the target and slides the object down the ice..  Then.. wait for it …. wait for it… you have others on your mother fucking team helping crazy eyes succeed in getting said object to a target.  WOW  what a fucking concept.  I don’t mean to sacrifice our friends to the north, but this is a prime example of team sport.  Now in the great NBA we have what we call ”score as much as you fucking can” so you can increase your salary next year.  Any true purist of the sport of basketball will agree (and if you don’t, GO FUCK URSELF) college basketball is the last final frontier of what basketball was meant to be.  Why is this, I ask my self.  Because they play the game to win and not to put one’s self before the team.  I know we have our excepting in the NCAA, but you really think you can get thru a field of 64 at the end of the year unless all cylinders are firing?  I fucking don’t think so.. 

It makes me sick to watch the Lakers and Celtics RUIN what Bird and Magic Johnson did years ago.  Sick isn’t even a good description of how I feel.. How about I feel like I just tea bagged a crab invested whore who is HIV positive and my condom just burst….  That is how I feel!  Some may so that is extreme.. I say look at how much NBA players are paid and look how much they contribute to society. 

If you see Kobe Bryant or Paul Pierce, please kick them in the nutz for me..

On a positive note, the pirates are coming to NYC.  Hell yeah…  Whores be aware!!!

H-Train Signing off!

You know what grinds my fucking gears???  The fact that I tend to be at the exact location of all hell breaking loose.   Lets take a look back to the April 1999.  I had just moved to Colorado to live the high life.  Well the next thing I know, Columbine High School happens about 10 min. from my work.  Now lets jump forward a couple years to 2001, after I had moved to NYC.  Yeah… You fucking guessed it.  9/11!!!!  The city goes into chaos!  I witnessed most of the shit from my office.  A few years later (like I need to proceed after that one) I am on my way to the airport when we experience one of the largest black outs in this country’s history and I am stuck in the sweltering heat for almost a week with out power!  Ahhhh yes.. for normal people, that would be the peak amount of catastrophe in ones life…  But not for FUCKING H Train… No…  About a year after the black out, I am walking down Madison Ave for a post dinner walk with a friend.  Next thing I know, I am hearing gun shots and falling to the ground covering my head.  Seems that about a half a block away, across the street, a guy has a need to shoot his ex-girlfriend and her new beau.  Later this was known as the Madison Ave Murders.

Now we are in present day NYC.  I agreed to do some dog sitting for a friend.  So, there I am walking this dog through central park, trying to see if this dog is truly a chic magnet.  (come to find out, he is)  So I decide it was time to go home, but I wanted to take the dog the long way home, so that I could check out a couple of the bars I frequent.  As we past the bars and I see they are packed with St Pat’s Day celebration, I continue down 2nd Ave.   As I reach 49th St, I start to hear what I think is a loud truck.  I look back and then something catches my attention… A HUGE FUCKING CRANE falling!  Yeah.. a 20 fucking story crane has broken loose from a building on 51st St and 2nd Ave and is falling due south… toward ME!  The crane is basically cutting pieces of other buildings right off.  Well before I know it the dog is freaking out cause of the noise and takes off running.  (dragging me behind him)  All this being said, I was in no danger (unlike some others, sad to say). 

Moral of the story..  Lil people are not as lucky as one once thought!!!!!  And heads up if I move into a city near you!!!!!! 

Peace and Chicken Grease.. H Train         

H-Train..         

What the FUCK is wrong with the world we live in?

 This is H-Train Grinding Gears! 

Fucking Zebras (referees) who try to control the fucking game!  Let the players play.  FUCK!!  I am watching a Pens hockey game last night and the ref totally changed the freaking out come by making two totally fucked up calls.  This grinding of gears applies to all sports.  I understand people make mistakes, but that’s why we have fucking instant replay.  I say if a ref makes two bad calls in any fucking game they get suspended for one game or 30 lashings.. you decide!!  You know people lose money cause of this shit!

By the way..  Don’t forget to visit Probasco Pirate Nation United at www.probascopirates.com  Where you can get your One Eyed Willie wet!!!

 H-Train signing off……..    Corn Hole this bitch!!!!      

Well hello all!  Welcome to the first H-Train entry.  Today I am comin at ya from Nashville, where the pick’n and the grin’n is as common as the incest! 

 You know what grinds my gears…….   Black Jack in the south!!!!!  Why must every fucking dealer have only 2 teeth and proceed to tell you how the rules for the same fucking card game you play anywhere else are different in his banjo pickin world. 

 H Train signing off..  Try the veal!